Joxer is being chased be a wolfpack

MAN: "Hellp us we have loss of so many. Three more girls have disappeared from a village just south of here.”
MAN: “All right, have a safe journey. Be very careful.”
GABRIELLE: “What did he say?”
XENA: “Three more girls kidnapped from a neighboring village.That brings the total to six.”
GABRIELLE: “Who would do this?”
XENA: “Shh. Listen.”
GABRIELLE: “I don’t hear anything.”
XENA: “That’s your answer. This is the Bacchae forest.”
GABRIELLE: “The hunting grounds for Bacchus. The god of wine and his Bacchae followers. So we should hear Orpheus. His music is said to tame the Bacchae.”
XENA: “And without it, these woods aren’t safe.”
GABRIELLE: “So you think the Bacchae took those girls?”
XENA: “There’s one way to find out.”

Joxer is being chased be a wolfpack

GABRIELLE: “Do you think that the stories that people tell about the Bacchae are, are true?”
XENA: “Some are; some aren’t. What have you heard?”
GABRIELLE: “Well they say that a single bite from a Bacchae can turn a young, innocent woman into a wild, soulless creature, whose only allegiance is to Bacchus and once bitten, she’s lured into his lair to drink his blood. If she does there’s no way to save her. She becomes a Bacchae forever.”

Joxer is being chased be a wolfpack

GABRIELLE: “They say that the Bacchae women can take many forms, sometimes just roaming the forest as wolves. Driven with an unquenchable thirst for blood, they track their intended victim relentlessly until they corner him. Then they tear him apart limb from limb.”

Joxer is being chased be a wolfpack

GABRIELLE: “But if you ask me I think the stories are exaggerated, you know? Just made up to give people a really good scare.”

Joxer screams

Gabrielle screams

XENA: “Get out! Get out of here!”

Joxer screams smoe more

XENA: “Stay behind me!”
GABRIELLE: “You don’t have to tell me twice.”
JOXER: “You dumb mutt! You ! And you ! Got’cha! Get outta here! Mister Mean Dog! Mister ‘Nip me in the,’

Joxer screams

JOXER: Xena! Help! Get off of me! Ooh! Ow! Ow ow ow ow! Yeah! Get out of here! And, and don’t come back either!”

Joxer Laughs

GABRIELLE: “Joxer!”
JOXER: “Huh?”
GABRIELLE: “Are you all right? “
JOXER: “Me? Ha ha ha ha yeah. Never better! You see, the secret to defeating a wolfpack is to wear ‘em down. I had those mongrels right where I wanted ‘em.”
XENA: “Uh huh? So, what brings you to these parts?”
JOXER: “Mission to save the world. Package from Orpheus to Xena.”
XENA: “Orpheus?”
GABRIELLE: “What is it?”
JOXER: “Speaks for itself.”

Orpheus screams

ORPHEUS: “Ouuuchh! Ow! Ow! Ouch! Ouch!”
JOXER: “Never pick him up by his hair. And he parts it in the middle.”
XENA: “Orpheus, Bacchus did this to you.”
ORPHEUS: “I thought you’d recognize his handywork. Since we last met, I’ve dedicated my life to stopping Bacchus. For a long time my music worked but now he’s cursed me. He took my body but left me eyes and ears to see and hear all the evil he brings to the world. For as long as Bacchus lives on Earth, I will live in agony.”
GABRIELLE: “So it was Bacchus who took those girls.”
ORPHEUS: “Yes. Tomorrow night, he’ll make them full-fledged Bacchae.”
XENA: “And you want my help.”
ORPHEUS: “I’ve hated you for a long time, Xena and you’re the last person I’d ask for a favor. But you’re the only person who knows Bacchus well enough to do the job.”
XENA: “Do you still have your lyre?”
ORPHEUS: “I’ve kept it hidden in town with my friend, Mellotus he can play it while I sing.”
XENA: “Knowing Bacchus it won’t be safe for long. Come on.”
ORPHEUS: “Not so fast Xena. I want to remind you that innocent lives are at stake. Maybe this time you’ll be more careful.”
XENA: “Find a way to make him presentable and then we’ll leave.”
JOXER: “Wait a minute. What did she mean make you presentable?”
ORPHEUS: “She doesn’t want me to look like you.”
GABRIELLE: “What was that all about?”
XENA: “My army fought Bacchus a long time ago and on the final day of the battle, an innocent woman got caught between my army and Bacchus’ forces. The fighting was fierce. There was no way we could protect her and she was killed. I’m sure it was Bacchus who killed her but Orpheus always blamed us both.”
GABRIELLE: “Who was she?”
XENA: “Orpheus’ wife.”
BACCHUS: “Did you bring me the head of Orpheus?”
BACCHAE: “No master he got away.”
BACCHUS: “You fools! How could you let this happen?!”
BACCHAE: “He and his idiot companion were rescued by Xena.”
BACCHUS: “Xena it’s been too long. She must’ve taken Orpheus back for the lyre. Call the others I have a little job for you. Ha ha ha ha ha-ha. Ha ha ha ha ha ha.”
GABRIELLE: “A festival looks like fun.”
JOXER: “Yeah every year the villagers have a festival to scare away the Bacchae. They have a prize for best costume too. Guess we know who’s winning this year.”
ORPHEUS: “Ha ha! Very funny.”
ORPHEUS: “Mellotus? He must be in the back room.” Mellotus no!”
XENA: “The Bacchae did this.”
ORPHEUS: “And they’ve taken the lyre.”
GABRIELLE: “Xena I’m going with you.”
XENA: “No Gabrielle I need you to stay here and protect Orpheus. Without him we don’t stand a chance.
JOXER: “Wow! Do you really play all these instruments?”
ORPHEUS: “Leave the instruments alone!”
JOXER: “You know your G is way out. Didn’t anyone ever tell you playing music’s for sissies? You know my mother wanted me to be a musician. Can you imagine that me a musician? Now swordfighting there’s a real man’s hobby.”
ORPHEUS: “You can be a warrior and a musician. I was.”
JOXER: “Yeah right and a hydra makes a good house pet.”
GABRIELLE: “I’ll be right back.”
JOXER: “Gabrielle?”
GABRIELLE: “Stay here.”

The moon is up and there’s a chill tonight.
Come on and dance away the growing fright.
Wave your hands in the air like you just don’t care.
Want to get with the rhythm till the morning light.
Used to think that I liked being all alone,
But now I’m feeling kind of warm like it’s nice to be.
And should have known better than to want to be ‘lone,
But the beat is so strong I got ta take it on.

Ah come on, ah, come on, ah, do it with me now.
Ah come on, ah, come on, do it with me now.
Ah come on, ah, come on, do it with me.
If you want my love, ya gotta drink da blood.

I want ta dance with you; I want you right next to me.
I want your soul and I’ll give you what you need to be.
Feel the music; sniff your hair.
I’ll keep you warm against the cold night air.
Just one kiss is what you need right now.
Just one kiss and I will show you how.
Just one kiss is what you need tonight.
To go dancing with the devil by the pale moonlight.

Ah come on, ah, come on, ah, do it with me now.
Ah come on, ah, come on, do it with me now.
Ah come on, ah, come on, do it with me.
If you want my love, ya gotta drink da blood.

Ah come on, ah, come on, ah, do it with me now.
Ah come on, ah, come on, do it with me now.
Ah come on, ah, come on, do it with me.
If you want my love, ya gotta drink da blood.

BACCHAE: “Ah the precious golden lyre,Isn’t it beautiful?”
FIRST MAN: “Need some help, ladies?”
SECOND MAN: “Yeah that hunk of gold is too heavy for pretty things like you.”
BACCHAE: “You’re cute, come closer and I’ll let you have it.”
FIRST MAN: “That’s not all you’ll let me have, ome on beautiful.”
XENA: “Hey girls sorry to break up the party.”

Fight

XENA: “Where is that lyre?”

Gabrielle is dancing with two women

JOXER: “See anything.?”
ORPHEUS: “I don’t see anything wait! There she is in the middle of the room with two women.”
JOXER: “Bacche just like I thought, hold that.”

Gabrielle is still dancing with two women

JOXER: “Don’t worry Gabrielle I’ll save you. Unhand her!”
GABRIELLE: “Joxer! What are you doing?!”
JOXER: “Bacchae!”
GABRIELLE: “But I would know a Bacchae if I saw one.”
JOXER: “Come on Orpheus is waiting.”
ORPHEUS: “Whoa! Hay! Whoa! Hay! Whoa! Did you get the lyre?”
XENA: “No I found the Bacchae who took it. Someone else got in the way. We’ll get it back.”
JOXER: “We’ll get it back? Wait a minute let me get this straight. First we find the lyre. Then we get someone to play it. Ah Orpheus sings the Bacchae sleep. Ah We go in kill Bacchus and free the girls?”
XENA: “Exactly.”
JOXER: “That was easy enough.”
ORPHEUS: “Don’t be a fool. Bacchus has the lyre safely in his catacombs by now. If you go in there he’ll kill you.”
XENA: “It’s a chance I’ll have to take.”
JOXER: “Yeah it’s my strategy from the get go. Catch ‘em off guard. Run that ‘he’ll kill you’ part by me again.”
XENA: “It’s all right, Joxer you won’t be coming. Come on, Gabrielle.”
JOXER: “Wait a minute! If she’s going, I’m going too! Hey I assembled this team! OK, fine. I guess you don’t want someone who plays the lyre!”
ORPHEUS: “You?!”
JOXER: “I took the music lessons OK?”
GABRIELLE: “You play the lyre.”
JOXER: “Yeah, I play the lyre. Don’t advertise it all over town. I got a reputation to maintain.”
XENA: “All right. Let’s go.”
GABRIELLE: “I got you Orpheus.”
JOXER: “Wait a minute!”
ORPHEUS AND GABRIELLE: “Whoa!”
JOXER: “Look! On her neck blood She’s been bitten.”

GABRIELLE: “So she had blood on her neck. I mean she was in a fight. It could be anything it could be a scratch. You know.”
JOXER: “Listen listen I have seen every kind of wound encountered by man or beast and that my friend is a bite specifically a Bacchae bite.”
GABRIELLE: “Then why hasn’t she turned into one?”
JOXER: “Because these things take time! Listen, listen any second now Xena’s gonna be sporting a new set of fangs big ones. Wait a minute, now I know why she didn’t want me with her. Because she knows I’m the only one who could stop her.”
GABRIELLE: “You know we could settle this right now. I’ll just ask her.”
JOXER: “No don’t ask her a question! Are you kidding me? Anything you say is gonna propel her into a Bacchian frenzy! Listen you better give me this. I’ll sharpen it into a point.”
GABRIELLE: “Don’t be ridiculous!”
JOXER: “Listen we gotta act nonchalant! Give it to me! Give me that!”
XENA: “Hurry up! What are you two doing back there?”
GABRIELLE: “Nothing!”
JOXER: “Just sharpening our weapon. OK fine but when she bites your head off in the middle of the night, don’t come running to me.”
GABRIELLE: “Ow!”
JOXER: “I got it, you can’t be too careful with these things, you know. Somebody might get hacked to pieces.”
XENA: “I’ll be back in a minute. Give me that.”
XENA: “You all right?”
ORPHEUS: “I’m a musician without my hands. How should I feel? Look just ‘cause you’ve agreed to help us doesn’t make us friends. My wife died in your war camp and you did nothing to protect her.”
XENA: “There was nothing I could do. Most of my men had already fallen. I tried my best to hold back Bacchus in the hope that she would escape.”
ORPHEUS: “But you failed.”
XENA: “Eurydice shouldn’t have been there in the first place.”
ORPHEUS: “I don’t know why Eurydice thought she could befriend a ruthless warrior like you. Her blood is on your hands!”
JOXER: “I’ll tell you one thing nobody sleeps soundly tonight.”

Joxes is snoring

XENA: “Spider sand spider.”
JOXER: “Right.”
XENA: “Everything all right?”
JOXER: “Yeah, yeah I was just thinking about the best way to kill Bacchae. Not that I haven’t killed them before you know.”
XENA: “There’s only one way to kill a Bacchae. We’ll get what we need on the way to the catacombs. For now try and get some sleep.”
JOXER: “Sure! No problem! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.”
BACCHUS: “Under the light of the Baccha moon, my initiates will drink my blood and become one of us. By this time tomorrow, we will have a new breed of eternal Bacchae and one of them will be Xena. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha-ha. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.”
JOXER: “This is it? When you said weapons I was thinking a blacksmith’s shop”
XENA: “No, for this job, we need something special. Keep quiet and don’t step on any graves.”
JOXER: “Driad dri What’s a driad?”
XENA: “Sworn enemies of Bacchus. A driad bone through the heart is the only way to kill a Bacchae.”
GABRIELLE: “Do we have to dig them up?”
XENA: “Not exactly.”
JOXER: “Well they’re not gonna jump out at us.

Joxer Laughs then screams

JOXER: Whoa! Whoa!
GABRIELLE: “Joxer!”
JOXER: “Help Xena! Help me! They’re pulling me under! I can’t breathe! I can’t breathe!

Gabrielle screams

Joxer screams

JOXER: Pull! Pull! Horrible animals! Ooh and monsters! Oh that was close. He took my boots! They cost me fifty dinars!”
GABRIELLE: “Great.”
JOXER: “Stupid good for nothing bag of bone!.”
GABRIELLE: “What is it?!”
XENA: “That’s a Driad.”

They fight the Driads

GABRIELLE: “Watch it Joxer!
JOXER: “All right Xena! Do something!”

Xena Fights the Driads

Orpheus Screams

ORPHEUS: “Thanks.”
JOXER: “Go on and run! You coward! Hah hah! Wow! These Driad bones are really sharp as nails. No wonder they can kill a Bacchae. Hey are you afraid of this?”
XENA: “Should I be?”
JOXER: “No.”

Orpheus Yells at Argo

JOXER: “It’s just that Gabrielle thought that you might be a Bacchae. OK maybe I thought you were one too but you had blood on your neck.”
XENA: “Sorry to disappoint.”
JOXER: “It’s understandable. Nothing like stalking a Bacchae to get the blood flowing.”

XENA: “Gabrielle.”
JOXER: “See what did I tell you?”
XENA: “Gabrielle It’s all right. I can help you.”
JOXER: “Where’s she going?”
XENA: “The catacombs get Orpheus!”
JOXER: “Shh! You hear that? Someone’s trapped! and it sounds like it’s coming from right behind us.”
ORPHEUS: “Get me out of here! Ah! Not so rough all right?!”
XENA: “Yes?”
ORPHEUS: “You’re wasting time. We should be in Bacchus’ lair by now.”
JOXER: “We’re looking for Gabrielle. She turned into a Bacchae.”
ORPHEUS: “There’s no time for that. We have to kill Bacchus before midnight. Forget the girl.”
XENA: “I can’t do that.”
ORPHEUS: “I knew I should never have trusted you. Once again you’re selfish desires come first. Don’t you understand? Bacchus is using Gabrielle against us. If you try to save her, you’ll fall right into his trap.”
XENA: “Save your breath. I’m going after Gabrielle.”
ORPHEUS: “Then Bacchus has won already!”
JOXER: “Um, are you sure you know where we’re going?”
XENA: “It’s all right Joxer just follow me.”
ORPHEUS: “That’s right Joxer follow Xena blindly to your death.”
JOXER: “Don’t worry, we know where we’re going. What do you mean death’?”
ORPHEUS: “It’s only a matter of time before Gabrielle bites Xena and makes her a Bacchae too. Xena’s friendship has blinded her to the mission. You have to take control. The world is counting on you Joxer.”
XENA: “Joxer, Joxer!”
JOXER: “OK, OK if Gabrielle comes around again I’ll know what to do.”
ORPHEUS: “Good.”
XENA: “Keep your eyes open, she’s here somewhere.”
JOXER: “Well don’t worry. I’m ready for anything.

Joxer screams

JOXER: Bat.

Joxer screams

JOXER: Get off of me! Get off of me! oh you little Bacchae!
XENA: “Joxer, don’t!
XENA: Gabrielle. Gabrielle!”
JOXER: “Duck!”

Bacchian song

BACCHUS: “It is time. Drink and become one with me forever.”
XENA: “Remember your job is to find the lyre and play it as soon as you can. That should give me time to reach Bacchus.”
JOXER: “Right.”
ORPHEUS: “Xena! I owe you an apology. I guess I was just looking for someone to blame.”
XENA: “Bacchus must’ve caused you a lot of pain. Now maybe we can bring you some peace.”
BACCHUS: “Now friend of Xena go ahead my child. Drink and become immortal. Become one with me.”

XENA: “She’s not interested Bacchus!”
BACCHUS: “Xena! So glad you could join us after all.”
XENA: “Joxer quick on Bacchus’ throne get the lyre. Hurry.”
JOXER: “You got it.”
BACCHUS: “Get her!”

Fight

JOXER: “Let go of me you little monster! Orpheus, Orpheus! Wake up! Come on!

Fight

JOXER: The lyre, yes the lyre! Orpheus what should I play?!”
ORPHEUS: “Anything! Just play!”
BACCHUS: “Drink! I command you. Drink and become one of us.”

Fight

JOXER: “Get off of me!”
XENA: “Gabrielle! No! Joxer! Play the lyre!”

Joxer plays the lyre

ORPHEUS: “La la la la. La la la la. La la la la. La la la la.”
JOXER: “Any requests?”
BACCHUS: “Awake my Bacchae! It is time to feed! Ha ha ha ha ha ha. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Welcome back Xena. No Xena Don’t you know? Only a Bacchae can kill me and you’re not one yet. Bite her! And now make her one of us.”
XENA: “Gabrielle do it.”
BACCHUS: “Ha ha ha ha ha. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Finally Xena you will be one of my children. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.”
GIRLS: “What happened?” “I feel so strange.”
JOXER: “Well that wasn’t so bad, Oh.”
ORPHEUS: “Thanks.”
JOXER: “You’re a lot taller than I thought you’d be. Orpheus? Hmm.”
ORPHEUS: “Goodbye Xena and thank you.”
GABRIELLE: “What is that?”
XENA: “That’s Eurydice’s favorite tune. Sounds like she and Orpheus are back together again.”
GABRIELLE: “It’s music to my ears.”
JOXER: “Guys wait up! Hey so what’s next?”
GABRIELLE: “Next huh?”
JOXER: “Yeah.”
GABRIELLE: “Ah we we fight Medusa right?”
XENA: “Right.”
GABRIELLE: “Well you know the, the one with snakes all over her head.”
XENA: “Right.”
GABRIELLE: “And, and one look and the mightiest of men is turned into stone.”
XENA: “Right.”
JOXER: “Sone, huh? Oh hay listen, ah um I just remembered it’s my mom’s birthday and she’s getting, you know, the .I I better get back home but um I’ll catch up with you guys a little later.”
GABRIELLE: “No problem. You know you almost died trying to save me. I really want to do something to thank you.”
JOXER: “Farewell my warrior chums!”
XENA: “You just did.”

Bacchus Laughs