| SILVUS:
“On the charge of evading your taxes, I find you
both guilty! And I sentence you to ten years hard labor. If you won’t
pay what you owe, then by Hades you’ll work it off! As to the
charge of celebrating the Winter Solstice. I find you guilty of singing
carols and decorating a tree twelve more months! Take ‘em away.” SOLDIER: “Yes sire. You heard King Silvus. Remove the prisoners.” SECOND SOLDIER: “Ahh to the poor house with you move it.” OLD MAN: “But we’re too old to live in a poorhouse.” SECOND SOLDIER: “Then you’ll die there.” SILVUS: “Senticles.” SENTICLES: “Yes your Majesty.” SILVUS: “Have you prepared the eviction lists for today?” SENTICLES: “Today? But sire, today is sol.” SILVUS: “Yes?” SENTICLES: “Today is so late. So late looks nearly dark.” SILVUS: “Then I suggest you hurry. Unless you want to add your name to that parchment! Court adjourned!” GABRIELLE: “Now no spying and if one of us sees the other shopping in a stall, then she turns and walks the other way agreed?” XENA: “Yeah.” GABRIELLE: “No peeking into other peoples’ bags, too. I mean being surprised is half the fun right?” XENA: “Right.” GABRIELLE: “Ah nothing can cost more than five dinars.” XENA: “Then why don’t I just give you five dinars and you can buy something that you really like?” GABRIELLE: “Because then it wouldn’t be a gift. Hey! What was that about?” XENA: “He stole my chakram. I’ll meet you out back.” XENA: “Pardon me.” XENA: “Coming through!” GIRL: “Now all we need is a Solstice pudding.” BOY: “And a goose. Don’t forget the goose.” GIRL: “Lynal can you get us a goose, too?” LYNAL: “One goose? We’ll need more than that.” GIRL: “The round thing looks like the king’s crest.” LYNAL: “In honor of his cold heart.” XENA: “Nice tree.” MELANA: “It’s all right, it’s all right. May I help you?” XENA: “Yes that’s mine.” MELANA: “Lynal.” LYNAL: “I just borrowed it for the tree. I was gonna give it back.” GABRIELLE: “Funny how the ribbons bring out its shine.” XENA: “It’s not an ornament.” LYNAL: “Flashy thing like that? What else could it be?” CHILDREN: “Yeah, what else?” SENTICLES: “Hear ye! Hear ye!” MELANA: “Children, children. Settle down.” SENTICLES: “By order of King Silvus, be it known you have until midnight tonight to pay taxes in the amount of 1000 dinars or face eviction.” SOLDIER: “No wait, look around. They’re violating the prohibition. I say, arrest them now!” XENA: “Ayiyiyiyiyiyiyi! Gabrielle!” GABRIELLE: “I didn’t know you did gift-wrapping.” XENA: “What did he mean ‘violating the prohibition’? The children were just enjoying Solstice.” MELANA: “Yes but here celebrating the winter solstice is a crime and anyone who gets caught can expect to pay a price.” |
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| GABRIELLE:
“How could you work for a man who would put orphans
on the street on Solstice Eve?” SENTICLES: “I like to eat. When King Silvus outlawed toy-making, I had to take whatever job I could.” GABRIELLE: “You were a toymaker?” XENA: “Nice try Let’s throw him in the cell with the guards.” GABRIELLE: “No wait, wait. Senticles, Senticles. Of course! When I was a little girl, I had a toy made It was this wooden lamb whose mouth would open when you pulled its tail. Oh, I loved that toy.” SENTICLES: “I remember that one. You know it took me two days to figure out that mouth joint and weeks to carve his fleece. Oh yes he was a real challenge. XENA: “So now you work for the man that put you out of business. King Silvus sounds like quite a guy.” SENTICLES: “Well he’s always been a hard man but the Queen used to temper him. and one solstice eve, about thirty years ago Queen Inalia suddenly died. He hasn’t been the same since.” XENA: “I understand his loss but that’s no excuse for banning Winter Solstice.” MELANA: “That’s true but as hard as his laws are on others, I imagine the loneliness must caused the king to be even worse.” GABRIELLE: “That reminds me of a story I heard once.” CHILDREN: “A story? Tell us!” GABRIELLE: “OK, OK, OK, OK, ha! Sit down. Once in a land far away, there was this rich but miserly man named Cresus and his heart was so hard that his servants begged the gods to intervene. They sent the Fates to separate the strands of his life, so that he might see himself more clearly. Unfortunately Cresus didn’t mend his ways. CHILDREN: “What? Why not?” GABRIELLE: “So the gods turned him into a spirit, doomed to walk the Earth forever as invisible to others as they were to him in life.” BOY: “I don’t like this story.” GABRIELLE: “Actually I didn’t like the end to that story, anyway and I bet we could change it” CHILD: “Maybe we could.” GABRIELLE: “ if we tried?” GABRIELLE: “Look if we can change the king’s mind without changing his anatomy, think of the example it’ll be to the children.” XENA: “Gabrielle the eviction notice is set at midnight. If we don’t stop it these kids are out on the street.” GABRIELLE: “I know but it will work.” XENA: “And what if it doesn’t?” GABRIELLE: “We clobber him. Please just try it my way just this once In honor of the Solstice?” XENA: “All right if it means that much to you but we’re going to need disguises and access to the castle.” XENA: “Hi.” GABRIELLE: “33, 34, 35 that’s it.” XENA: “You’ll have to stretch it as far as you can. We need everything on the list to make it work.” GABRIELLE: “Trust me Xena. If there’s one thing I know, it’s how to bargain. You just worry about getting to King Silvus without cracking heads.” XENA: “Deal’s a deal.” SENTICLES: “Yo!” XENA: “Right Senticles?” SENTICLES: “I’ll take you to him all right. It’s just that, well how do I know you’re not an assassin?” XENA: “Because if I was he’d be dead already.” SENTICLES: “Works for me.” XENA: “Good. You get everything we need and I’ll meet you back at the orphanage.” MAN: “You stubborn ass! You’ve been nothing but trouble the entire time we’ve been together. Now move!” GABRIELLE: “Excuse me sir. That’s quite an animal you’ve got there.” MAN: “You want him? He’s yours. Fifty dinars.” GABRIELLE: “Fifty?” MAN: “That’s what the tannery will give me for his hide.” GABRIELLE: “You’re taking him to be skinned? Look How ‘bout I do you a favor? I’ll take him off your hands for say ah, 25 dinars?” MAN: “25? That’s half of what he’s worth at the tannery.” GABRIELLE: “Yeah well you have to get him there first right.?” MAN: “Hmm, 45.” GABRIELLE: “30 Not a dinar more. Let’s face it. I’ve seen healthier hides on a used couch Nothing personal. What do you say?” MAN: “35 and you got yourself a deal.” XENA: “You’re a lucky man Silvus. Now surprise me and be smart too. Wake up!” SILVUS: “Ahh! Who are you?! How did you get in here?! What do you want?” XENA: “My name’s Xena. We need to talk.” SILVUS: “Listen anything you want. Take it. Jewels, money, anything take it, take it. Just have mercy on an old man.” XENA: “The same kind of mercy you showed that orphanage you’re closing?” SILVUS: “Orphanage?” XENA: “You signed the order yourself.” SILVUS: “Maybe so. I issue so many time’s being what they are.” XENA: “And whose fault is that? Did you ever stop to think that maybe if you eased up on your people a little let them celebrate Solstice perhaps the times might ease up too?” SILVUS: “Wait a minute. You’re one of those Solstice lovers, aren’t ya? One of those rebels who thinks that everything and everyone should stop once a year just to raise a glass, eat a goose, unwrap gifts! Well you know what I say to that?” XENA: “Bet I can guess.” SILVUS: “Guards! Guards! Quick!” GUARD: “Coing, Sire!” XENA: “You petty tyrants so predictable but heed my warning Silvus. Change your ways or suffer the consequences.” SILVUS: “No! Inalia’s gone for good and so’s the Solstice.” GUARD: “Break it down!” XENA: “This isn’t over Silvus. The truth is it’s just begun.” GUARD: “Stop her!” XENA: “Ay-yi-yi-yi-yi-yi-yi-yi-yi-yi-yi!” |
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XENA:
“Inalia.” |
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Gabrielle Whistles XENA
AS CLOTHO: “A warning that our time is nearly
up.” SILVUS:
“Take me home. I’ve seen and heard enough.” |
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| XENA
AS LACHESIS: “Hold it boys. Where’s your
Holiday Spirit?” SOLDIER: “What are you waiting for?! Arrest them! Fight SILVUS: “Did you see that? They attacked me! Me their king!” LYNAL: “You and your friend better go.” XENA: “I’m not going anywhere.” LYNAL: “Xena! Thank the gods it’s you! The guards in the basement have escaped!” XENA: “Believe me Lynal that is the least of our worries.” SOLDIER: “Attention everyone in the building. Either you come out voluntarily or we’re coming in to get you but either way, you’re gone!” MELANA: “Are you sure he’ll be all right?” XENA: “His pulse is strong. Once the shock wears off, he should be fine.” MELANA: “Dear gods I hope so.” XENA: “On second thought maybe you should stay with him just in case anything develops.” MELANA: “But I can’t. I mean what about the children?” XENA: “Lynal will look after them. Right?” LYNAL: “Well sure but who’s gonna help you?” Senticles screams Gabrielle screams XENA: “Go and see to the kids. The reinforcements have arrived.” SENTICLES: “I did it! The gods be praised! I did it! That chimney is dark and cold as a grave but I just grabbed my sack of toys and Ho-ho-ho! Down I came! And you know what? I liked it! I did it was fun! By Zeus! I’m gonna do that every Solstice Eve! Just see if I don’t.” GABRIELLE: “That’s great Senticles but we’ve got a problem here. Xena there are a troup of guards outside.” XENA: “I know.” GABRIELLE: “I guess my plan didn’t work after all So I guess we have to slash and crash but thanks for trying. Ahh. Back to business as usual, right?” SOLDIER: “All right we gave ‘em a chance. Now in the name of King Silvus, attack!” XENA: “Let the games begin. Hah!” Fight GABRIELLE: “Boys! Come and get your Solstice present. You wanna help me play with it? Senticles!” SENTICLES: “Ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho!” SILVUS: “Ah. The gods defend me. You’re the third one the Fate of the future am I right? Atropos come to show me my! What is it? What is this place? Tell me Why am I here? It’s dark and cold as a grave? Is that it? Is this my tomb? And that that noise like souls crying out in pain. Is this my future? No, no, don’t leave me. Just tell me does it have to be? This place my death? Can it change if I change my life? Please I I don’t want to die alone. I’ve lived that way for thirty years. I can change. I know I can. No! I won’t go with you, not yet. You’ll see I’ll show you. I’ll prove to you I’m not the man I was. I’m not!” Fight SOLDIER: “Stop her! This way! Aroud the back! ” XENA: “Great stocking stuffers.” SENTICLES: “Go ahead make my day.” XENA: “Thanks.” Fight GABRIELLE: “Nah.” XENA: “Gabrielle get me a sword.” GABRIELLE: “This guy’s driving me nuts!” CHILD: “Come on.” LYNAL: “Load your weapons! Ready! Fire! Yeah!” SOLDIERS: “You call yourself soldiers? Getting beaten by women and children?” “Right come on!” “We’ll make them pay.” “You’re pathetic! Now tighten your ranks! Look sharp! Come on charge!” Pillow fght CHILDREN: Cheer SILVUS: “Did you see them run?! Like rabbits?! Yes sir! Ha-ha! There’ll be no evictions here! Not tonight! Not ever!” GABRIELLE: “Your Majesty this is the woman who runs the orphanage. Her name’s.” SILVUS: “Inalia.” INALIA: “Yes.” SILVUS: “Oh my dearest wife. Can you ever forgive me for closing my heart to you and to our people? For wasting thirty precious years in bitterness and greed? I know I don’t deserve it but please say you’ll try.” INALIA: “I heard what you said and I forgive you with all my heart.” XENA: “I guess you got that happy ending you wanted.” GABRIELLE: “And then some.” JOSEPH: “Excuse me please. Could you tell us which is the road going west?” XENA: “You’re on it. There’s a town on the way if you’re looking for food and shelter. We’d be happy to help you get there.” JOSEPH: “Mmm you’re very kind but, we’re in a hurry. Come dear the caravan won’t wait.” MARY: “Yes, we’re coming.” GABRIELLE: “Wait a minute. If you’re in a hurry then wouldn’t it be faster if your wife and child rode the distance?” JOSEPH: “Well, of course but we don’t have the means to.” GABRIELLE: “You do now.” JOSEPH: “For us? But it’s too much. We can’t accept it.” GABRIELLE: “Sure you can, if you can whistle. Call it a um call it a Solstice gift for the baby.” MARY: “May God smile on you always for your kindness.” GABRIELLE: “Thank you. Tobias now take good care of these people OK? Don’t be stubborn. I’ll miss you too.” XENA: “That was a nice thing you did back there.” GABRIELLE: “What would I do with a silly old donkey anyway?” XENA: “Uh huh.” GABRIELLE: “They needed him more than me. Besides they seem pretty nice.” XENA: “Mm hmm.” GABRIELLE: “After all it is Solstice.” XENA: “Oh that’s right. Happy Solstice.” GABRIELLE: “Well what? Oh I don’t have a gift for you.” XENA: “Gabrielle you are a gift to me.” |
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